Archive | October, 2012

Dinner Shenanigans.

4 Oct

In true Novak form, tonight I made a new meal for dinner.  I literally thought there was no way Kevin could hate it.  It was a chicken parmesan dish, and there was absolutely nothing weird in it.  No strange vegetables or textures or smells.  Just chicken, some spices, some tomato sauce, and some cheese.  I even diced up onions and garlic by hand.


I laid a plate in front of Kevin.  I was so excited.  I KNEW he was going to like this meal.

He takes a bite.  Chews.  Swallows.  Blinks.  Another bite.  Chew swallow blink.

“Well?”  I say.


I am immediately suspicious.  “Be honest.” I demand.

He hesitates.  “It’s…okay.”


We proceed to eat in silence, except for an occasional, hopeful, “Do you like it yet?” from me, somehow expecting that the more he eats, the faster he will realize that I am, in fact, a culinary genius and he is, in fact, a jerkface.

Kevin finishes his portion, and when I ask him if he’d like seconds, he quickly says, “No thanks,” and gets up to get a drink.

I sigh, and carry my plate to the sink.

And as I pass by his chair, I glance at his plate and find this:

Yes, friends.  That would be the gooey cheese he scraped off the top of his chicken parmesan.  Because it was too gooey.